This has got to be one of the hardest days for me as a mother. I know some people may read this post and think I’ve lost my ever loving mind but it just got REAL in my household. My baby is starting school today! Now again, it may not be a huge deal to some but I am VERY over protective of my children. I don’t let them out of my sight, so the thought of my baby going to school for 8 hours, with strangers, and I don’t know what’s she’s doing freaks me out. I mean yesterday I had a total melt down in Target buying school supplies. I mean tears, people staring, and Ariel asking me why I’m sad about her going to school. I just can’t wrap my mind out all this change. This can’t be happening, right? I feel like one minute I felt her kicking me in my tummy, then next she’s walking. Now it’s school, LORD send help. I can’t believe the time has come and now I have to learn to let go. I’m having a total melt down and I need some chocolate, and maybe even a sedative. My nerves are shot. Breathe Chimere, BREATHE!
Just a little history, so you know where I’m coming from. Ariel for me is not only my first born, she apart of my testimony. Before I conceived her I was told by my physicians I would have to wait a year or maybe more before I even considered trying to conceive a child. The news was shocking and heart breaking considering what I had already gone through at the time and I wasn’t sure I would be able to be a mother. I prayed, cried, and prayed again. I just wanted the option to have children. So imagine my surprise when six months later I find out I’m pregnant! You want to talk about a blessing. I truly believe that was the happiest moment of my entire life. I never felt joy and peace so deep in my soul. I mean total bliss. See, Ariel in a sense was my miracle baby. She proved to me that God always has the final say and no matter what you go through God is God alone.When man says no, God says YES! I learned to trust God in that situation and I was rewarded with something greater than I could ever imagine, Ariel.
Now she’s trying to leave me to go to get an education! (OK, I know that was a bit dramatic but you get the idea).
But today I am growing as a mother by allowing God to show me who he is again. I’m learning to trust things outside my level of control. If you know me personally you know I am the ultimate control freak. However, today I learning to let go! I want my baby to sore, and grow. Spread her wings and begin to learn to fly. It’s not always easy to remove your hand from a situation but sometimes letting go is the best option you have. I’m learning today that letting go may be extremely hard for me but it’s the best decision for my baby. Lucky, I still have a little home with me and she’s stuck to my like eyelash glue. Meaning, she picks and chooses when she wants to cooperate. She’s shady sometimes lol. As for Ariel, it’s time for my baby to begin a new chapter in her life. It’s time for her to sore and be great! I won’t let her go to far tho, just far enough to make it to kindergarten. Then we will revisit this whole school thing next year!